Noir.

16th May 2012

Chat reblogged from Live High...Live Mighty with 7 notes

Airplane Passengers as Explained by their Pants, by Wendi Aarons

• Wool Suit Pants: Will board before you.
• Wool Hunting Pants: Will board after you.
• Pleated Dockers: Will loudly talk on cell phone about ROIs and vertical markets.
• Pajama Bottoms: Will be flying either to or from a city with a Señor Frog’s.
• Sweatpants with Dallas Mavericks Logo: Will clog one or more bathrooms.
• Stained Yoga Pants: Will be carrying a screaming child.
• Stained Gymboree Pants: Will be a screaming child.
• Leather Pants: Did not pay for own flight.
• Pants with Underwear Sticking Out: Did not pay for own flight.
• Jeans with Rhinestones: Will get wasted on tequila and Sprite and graze flight attendant’s boob.
• Tight Black Stretch Pants: Will be a pharmaceutical sales rep named Morgan.
• Hemp Pants: Will be flying either to or from a city with a yurt resort.
• Golf Pants: Will “accidentally” click on a porn link on his laptop.
• Camouflage Cargos: Carry-on is a styrofoam cooler sealed with duct tape.
• Blue Capris: European on business.
• Red Capris: European on holiday.
• Plaid Capris: European on way to rehab.
• Pink Sweatpants: Will laugh her ass off at the Adam Sandler in-flight movie.
• Beige Slacks: Will nervously clutch book about how liberals are destroying America.
• Linen Trousers: Will swallow a Xanax and mangle your hand during take-off.
• Wide-waled Corduroys: Traveling with a cat.
• Thin-waled Corduroys: Traveling with a guitar.
• Patched Corduroys: Traveling with a cat named Guitar.
• Orange Jumpsuit: Did not pay for own flight.
• Skinny Jeans: Will develop deep vein thrombosis.
• Swim Trunks: Will be escorted off plane by federal air marshal for doing something gross to the beverage cart.
• Creased Jeans: Federal air marshal.

Source: infidel-castro